So I had a bit in a thing called “By George” for the 48 Hour Film Challenge. I recommend it and it’s in my youtube playlist “videos I’m in” my channel is also queenlionhair (the sexiest name on the internet).
Long story short, I was topless, he was Chewbacca, and you could feel the magic. LOL. It’s true though; I once hooked up with a guy specifically because he could do the voice. Nothing gets me wet faster than a solid Kermit the Frog impression by the way :D. After the premiere, he asked me out. We had a burger and exchanged digits. History was about to be made.
Because he’s Ron Sparks and normal isn’t good enough for him, he walked me around until he found the dirtiest most honest dive bar in Toronto because he “needed material”. Unbeknownst to him, I have driven a lot of lesser men away with my ability to get mobbed for no reason other than I’m female and every date we went on involved strange people approaching me for ridiculous reasons. This was our first date…
The bar was tiny and exclusively frequented by men. The pitchers were $7 and the live entertainment was energetically throwing up in the men’s room. As we sat down, Ron muttered uneasily about the freezer sitting across the aisle, as it seemed unreasonable to him that said freezer would be equipped with a large padlock. To this day he still wonders aloud about its contents whenever we speak. I was tapped on the shoulder, and turning around was presented with a cup of flowers the thoughtful drunk beside us had on his table. I got flowers on my first date with Ron, I said to myself, looking at the bright side. Ron and me polished off a couple miniature pitchers of draft, whilst the sick performer briefly exited the washroom to find a mop and clean up his own sick. Ron was still worried about the freezer, and so we were trying to guess what could be in it when the performer emerged, in all his glory, walking deliberately towards the front of the dive. Upon reaching our table and meeting my eyes, he did the world’s biggest double take.
"She’s so….. BEAUTIFUL!!!" He bellowed at Ron, scaring the crap out of him. “Holy FUCK!"
Ron chuckled and amiably agreed with the man. Two performers bonding over a beautiful woman :)
"NO." The man started weaving back and forth. “Sheesh shoooooooo BEAUUUUUTIFUUULLLL!" lol! Taken aback, Ron demurred to his wisdom. “Holy…. FUCK." The man ranted for about ten minutes.
"You should…. MARRY HER." He got in Ron’s face. “Sheesh sho PRETTY. OH MY GOD." I was dying.
"SHE’SH SHO BEAUTIFUL. SHOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL. LOOK AT HER. YOU SHOULD…. MARRY HER.” On our very first date :) This was Ron’s fault.
Ron seemed miffed. He interjected. “Well, I was gonna pop the question,” he reasoned, “But you stepped on it.”
I still remember the performer’s bellow. “SHE’SH SHO BEAUTIFUL!" Still rings in my ears. “MARRY her… you should MARRY HER!"
Lol. And this, friends, is the most entertainment you can get with $14. Oh my God. Ron Sparks and me are still friends. You and me, Ron. Transformers 4. It’s a date :)